i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
