Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
