I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I deserve this hangover.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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