Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
