sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
