Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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