O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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