Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
false alarm. still invincible.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
