Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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