ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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