I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
