How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
