Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him

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(443): View more from Maryland

booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again

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(951): View more from California

Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?

(951): View more from California

...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang

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(616): View more from Michigan

my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment

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(231): View more from Michigan

Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.

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(512): View more from Texas

Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list

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