my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
