i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
