people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
