he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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