i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
