we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
