I wish I could punch you in the face.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
