They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
