When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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