Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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