if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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