I wanna passion pit in your ass
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
