If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
my nose is crying tears of wow.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
