You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
