I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
