Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
