i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's just like the Real World with babies
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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