Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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