I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
