I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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