How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
