I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
