Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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