Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
