Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
