Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
