I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
