Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize