I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize