Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
