Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
