I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
