apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
