so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize