He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
