i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
