Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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