I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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