Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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