i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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