yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
