I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
