I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
