I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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