I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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